Lazy Saturdays

Well today was relaxing in many ways – slept in, aimlessly browsed the interwebs for a while, generally chilled out. The weekend’s weather’s been fantastic so far – cool and sunny, plenty of birds out, and the kid next door is getting quite good with his saxophone, which gives the day a slightly blues-ish feel. Washing is done, kitchen cleaned, and my room is tidied and neat again, theres a floor under all that lot, dont y’know!?

Tomorrow will be my day off – i’m going to go for a wander around the city, take photos, act like a tourist, and maybe try and capture some of the hurried, out-of-breath essence the CBD holds for me. I’ve got a few ideas lined up in my head, so hopefully they pan out in the way i think they could.
I’m going to go drop in on my friend Luke at work, he’s working at an outdoors/camping/adventure store – right up my alley. I’m hoping to pick up a new leatherman, but that all depends on my funding which is a little tight at the moment. I seemed to have managed my money better this fortnight, but I did spend $200 that i could have gotten away without spending, so I’m probably a bit behind.
I’ve been introduced to Bouldering by Luke also, last weekend was my first, and we’re planning to go again on monday evening. I love the simplicity of it, there is no harnessing, no belays, just a wall and a crashmat. I do enjoy rock climbing, but I find bouldering is as much a mental test of my skills as a physical one. Not to say that I wasnt in large amounts of pain for several days afterwards – I was, but it felt like I might just have achieved something.

Sitting in the backyard at the moment, its an odd feeling of satisfaction. I have a clean house, and more than ever at the moment, a clear mind. Its a fairly quiet afternoon – the neighbours are chattering over the fence, but not intrusively. A QANTAS 747 just crawled overhead, clamouring its way through the lightening afternoon sky. I love living under this flightpath – some may think I’m mad, but I love planes and all to do with them. Airports excite me, even if I’m not the one going anywhere, they signal fresh beginnings to me, and every time a plane rumbles overhead, I wonder where it’s off to, and what sorts of people are onboard. I hope that in less than 7 months, one of those people will be me, I plan on doing my best to make it happen this time around.

I’ll be dissapointed to leave Sydney I think, the lazier side of me feels right at home here some days – where I can walk to a train and be in the city in thirty minutes, for $3, where I can download my TV instead of watching every crappy ad that comes onto telly. From all this though, I don’t think I can live here much longer with all these un-met challenges for myself. I’ve gotta get overseas, theres some amazing places in Australia, but I cant wait to stand on top of one of the rocky mountains, or visit the deserts of Utah, the rich and busy streets of new york. I found that as miserable as my life had been at points in Jindabyne, its all that matters to me when I come back and say “I did it anyway”. I think this season, another year wiser, with people I know, and some more smarts when it comes to meeting those I don’t, I’ll do a better job.

Another thing I’ve been amused with recently is that I’ve started watching the news again, and a few times the comment has been made along the lines of “All the news is biased”. Coming from Digg readers, this is very humerous to me – I believe that very few people actually have the insight and skill to ’select’ the information on these collaborative news websites and cut out the bias. I know i’m not one of them – i much prefer to watch what is given me, read what is printed, hear what is broadcasted and take my own opinions away from it.
I am at least good enough to know and decide by myself what are the facts in a news story. I’ve been persistently berated by people for commenting on a current event, that I’m being fed lies. The funny side is – what these people spout as the ‘truth’ or the ‘unbiased story’ is generally just as biased in the opposite direction.

On a much sadder note, I was only this afternoon told that a well known man, the father of one of my schoolmates committed suicide early last week. It makes me sad to think that a man of such stature in the community I grew up in had nowhere else to turn to, and those of you who know who this is I speak of, please, reach out to his family and offer what support you can in this awful time.
I wonder sometimes what drives people to the edge of desperation, but I think thats not something for me to ask nor answer. The best I can offer is the simple truth that no person should ever have to take their own life in such a manner.

Continuing my hollow promises for now – can it really be this easy? No, but thats the beauty of such a promise – its never going to make a difference either way.

I’ll end with this – Its not supposed to be literal, but its one of my very favourite bits of poetry, slightly edited for clarity.

Light many lamps and gather round his bed.
Lend him your eyes, warm blood, and will to live.
But death replied: ‘I choose him.’ So he went,
And there was silence in the summer night;
Silence and safety; and the veils of sleep.
Then, far away, the thudding of the guns.
– Sigfried Sassoon